I looked it up on Facebook, and guess what? It has 308 page likes. THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHT. I had to do something about this, so I put the following warning out on Facebook:
Holy shit; it's jumped up to 314 likes since last night.
One of my dearest friends, Valerie asked, "Worse than Van Helsing?"
Van Helsing was awful. Disagree? I don't care. You're wrong.
Okay, you get the point. The movie sucked. But let me just wrap it up with this, because I felt this post with a burning, white-hot passion as I put a permanent crick in my stupid old man thumb typing it on my phone last night:
And there you go. If you watch this movie or allow someone you love, hate, barely know, hooked up with a dozen years ago and got a STD from, suspect of being a serial killer, or once sat next to on a plane to watch this movie, you are the worst kind of person.
I don't have a rating system, but if I did, this would get something along the lines of "minus five thousand stars times infinity" or "explosive diarrhea in a public place." Seriously.